Giving voice to Depression.” My Journey”

By Quinn Fisher 

    When people hear the word success, society as a whole correlates that with a milestone. Whether is a good job, financial independence, family life, or marriage. For me, success is being able to get out of bed every day and not feel like the whole world is caving in around me from all sides. For me, success is being able to maintain a steady routine throughout the week.  For me, success is being able to get through a month without thinking about suicide.

    It’s hard fighting a battle which no one sees happening. There is no blood, no carnage, no mayhem. It is a battlefield that is fought in my mind. A hell driven narrative that is a nightmare of my own making. Like any war, it is a battle of attrition. The first World War was fought in terms of meters and considered gains. Conversely, this war with myself is measured in days and hours, sometimes even minutes.  

Throughout our lives at some point in time, we ask that question why. Why are we here? Why do I exist? Like any story, there is a beginning, a middle, and an end. I call it a journey, for my end is yet written.

    Over the past year, I got my driver’s licence, an accomplishment I never thought I would be able to achieve. I was determined, and I did it despite the belief that I couldn’t. If anything can be taken from this, it’s that any limitation that we set for ourselves can be overcome. You need the will to get it done.  I have a job, doing what I love, which is writing. In the words of Audrey  Hepburn “ Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m Possible.”

    Helping others has given me a purpose. It is selfless and rewarding, with no strings attached. I was in the unique position of seeing community supports from the other side of the coin, that is, working as a community support worker myself as a family managed worker for PDD (Persons with Developmental Disabilities). I supported a young man who had Prader Willi Syndrome discover the endless opportunities that socializing with others has to offer.  This job sadly came to an end after his family decided it best to move away to greener pastures.

 In my struggles, I have Aspergers and OCD as well as ADD. I do not let these labels hold me back from living an enriched and fulfilled life. I am where I am today because of programs like Life Empowerment Support Services in Whitecourt. These programs are what we need to produce full-fledged members in society.

These programs foster independence and self-reliance, and employment. They have helped me become a better person and have enriched my life in such a positive way with positive supports. I’m blessed truly. This is my success story. Behind every dark cloud, there lies in wait for a ray of sunshine.