Part II ‘Giving Voice to Depression’- “I am In Control” Lorri’s Story

                                    “Giving Voice to Depression” Is a new series that focuses on the stories and lives of those who live and have lived with depression and/or mental illness. These stories are genuine because depression is real, and it can affect anyone. It is a silent illness that no one sees but only feels. This series aims to destigmatize mental illness.  This week I sat down with a long time Whitecourt resident, Lorri, who chose to give her voice to depression and share her remarkable story.

                                    “I am now in control,” Lorri told me.  “When I was little, I always worried I was going to die. My parents were very strict and controlling. They didn’t let me go out anywhere, and I was abused, not only physically, but also mentally by my father from the age of seven to 26 years old, until my friend helped me move away from my parent’s house. For many years I worked at a local hotel and became a client with a local support agency.  When I got my place, that was the happiest day of my life because I finally had freedom of my own, and I wasn’t controlled anymore.” Lorri shared with me that she has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, a condition caused due to the consumption of alcohol by a mother during pregnancy. One of the many symptoms of FAS is depression and mental illness.

                                    Lorri is also a suicide survivor. She shared with me what led up to the attempts on her life.  “About four years ago, my best friend passed away. She was the one who helped me get out of the situation I was in while living in my family’s home. We worked together, and after losing her, my mental health rapidly declined.  I tried to commit suicide, and a few times I called 9-1-1 because I was drinking heavily.  It got to the point where I was calling them every week when I lived up the hill across from the Whitecourt Hospital.  I was praying that I would go to Heaven to see my friend once more.”  Presently, Lorri said she’s trying to change the way she perceives that loss and keep her mind healthy.  “So far, ‘touch wood,’ I’m doing okay,”  Lorri said.

                                    Lorri’s strength shone through two years ago when she became a motivational speaker by sharing her story and co-hosting a series of talks on various subjects ranging from mental health awareness to recognizing  healthy relationships in her partnership with  Wellspring Family Resource Centre and the Whitecourt RCMP detachment.  Her motivational speaking took her across Alberta when she spoke at a conference in Red Deer, and shared her story, performed songs on her accordion, and joined in fellowship with other motivational speakers. They shared a common bond in raising mental health awareness and destigmatizing the conversations surrounding mental health.

                                    Living with depression and mental illness comes with its challenges.  Lorri said, “I try and stay positive and don’t get depressed or down.  I try my best to monitor my mood by ensuring it stays level.  I like to keep my mind busy by occupying my time with activities such as playing games on my phone, talking to my friends through FaceTime,  playing cards with two of my friends who visit regularly and have been with me since the COVID 19 pandemic lockdown.  I recently got a bicycle, so I can ride outside and enjoy nature.  These activities keep my mind busy, so I do not think about it as much.  I have stopped watching the news because of the constant news coverage of this virus.  I started thinking the world was going to end. It makes me sad seeing all these people die. I hope it ends soon. I do not want to get it myself and then spread it to the ones I love and the ones I care for”.

Lorri’s voice in talking about her depression and owning it is sure to resonate with others and help reduce the stigmatization surrounding mental illness and depression.  When we come together and show a united front, mental illness becomes mental wellness.